confront!

awak just confronted a friend...

dear friend.. how bad you are.. what ever our past has been like..what ever your obstacles has been.. im always there for you.

tme, people, environment may have change us.. may have distance us but believe me that i have never have grudge on you.what ever people may say about you.. your just being your self.dont change cause its who you are. dont think to much..think about your self before you think about others.

dear friend... life is to short to fill it with hatred. be strong and stay strong. i love you dear friend.

langkah bendul!

last saturday on the 29/05/10 ...magic has actually happen as my sister was engage alhamdulilah..syukur awak ke hadrat allah s.w.t.. dia dah selamat ..im really happy for you sis.

well basically there's nothing much awak nak say pun today.i just feel like writing to show how gratefull i am toward my sister. Even awak di'skipping' oleh dia. hahaha tapi awak tak kisah. apa salah nya nak buat benda baik nak tunggu2 buat apa.

talking about skipping nie, awak rasa its basically a trend dah nowdays. women dulu and now is toally different. we look at things in a different prespective. point of view pun dah banyak beza. basically there nothing wrong pun about this skipping concept. but the main thing yang awak sad sebenarnya is basically mentality and people's perception yang still belum merdeka..

or melayu bile nak merdeka?? what ever it is.. to my dear sis... alhamdulilah.. sekarang dah jadi tunangan orang.. dan insyallah kalau ada rezeki bakal jadi isteri orang. so act like one yea.

chow sin ci people.....

memancing!!

kawan awak cakap... " kiki you are just in denial..." for god sake.. face the fact!"

kawan awak cakap jugak " what do you defined as happiness ? when you have then what?

kawan awak cerita about a fisherman and a businessman...

the businessman went to a jeti and brought along his family. so at the jeti he met a fisherman..

the businessman went there for fishing.. he waited and waited and waited.. so there is this fisherman that was fishing as well.. each hour he got a fish.. so this businessman got annoyed and approach him.. excuse me.. " can you go and take or buy a small boat and go directly to the sea and catch more fish? " the fisherman answered "then what?".. businessman said that "then you can gain more fish and become richer" again the fisherman answered "then what?" businessman said " when you become richer you will make your loved once happy then the fisherman answered " if i say that i have all that then what?" so businessman stood there and kept quiet............ silence.

basically moral of the story.. awak just nak cakap..ask ourselves is there any closure or ending to this life? what is really happiness? money cant buy the things, money cant really do anything.. it may be a bonus but indeed people just need is love.. love can be big.. love is a soul to human..its is basically nyawa for you to live.

think about it.. and ask yourself.. what do you really want in life.

zzzzzzzzzz

melayu mudah lupa!!

Melayu mudah lupa
Melayu mudah lupa
Melayu mudah lupa
Dulu bangsanya dipijak Melayu mudah lupa
Dulu bangsanya retakMelayu mudah lupa
Dulu bangsanya teriak Melayu mudah lupa
Dulu bangsanya haprak Melayu mudah lupa
Dulu bangsanya kelas duaMelayu mudah lupa
Dulu bangsanya hinaMelayu mudah lupa
Dulu bangsanya sengketa Melayu mudah lupa
Dulu bangsanya derita Melayu mudah lupa
Dulu bangsanya kerdil Melayu mudah lupa
Dulu bangsanya terpencil Melayu mudah lupa
Tiada daulat Tiada maruah Tiada bebas Melayu mudah lupa
Melayu mudah lupa Melayu mudah lupa
Sejarah bangsanya yang lena Tanah lahirnya yang merekah berdarah IngatlahIngatlahIngatlahWahai bangsaku Jangan mudah lupa lagi
Kerana perjuanganmu belum selesai...


this is a poem that was done by our highly genius appreciated the great among us all former prime minister TUN DR MAHATHIR..

awak sebenarnya tidak ada kerja"yet" so awak read through some things and i came across this lovely, lively,spirited poem.

awak duduk and pikir sejenak and read it words by words. memang sedih bila kita kenangkan bangsa kita..bangsa kita .. maruah kita. awak baca poem ini bukan dari sudut politik.. tapi awak baca artikel ini dari pandang manusia, humanity. awak bukan a big fan of surat khabar.. i seldom read it and kadang-kadang awak tak tahu apa yg berlaku dengan sekeliling awak, tapi bila awak duduk and baca poem ini, awak dapat rasa and awak masih bersyukur dengan keadaan awak.
living in this lovely country.

awak rasa every each of us ada perasaan racist..awak minta maaf awak mengaku yang awak memang tergolong dari golongan itu, bangsa lain maju pijak kepala kita..kita tunduk and duduk sahaja. orang bilang angguk kita angguk... orang bilang geleng kita geleng..

awak tulis bukan nak cetuskan masalah. awak tulis sebagai seorang melayu.
bercakap tentang melayu.. sejauh mana melayu kita?? rambut awak seniri blonde..
sejauh mana melayu kita?? awak sendiri hidup macam mat salleh..
sejauh mana melayu kita?? pakaian awak masih tak melambangkan melayu..
sejauh mana melayu kita?? orang melayu bertatoo..
sejauh mana melayu kita?? cakap mat salleh sahaja..

awak tak condemn awak tak kutuk.. awak sendiri ada flaws awak..

think about it.
sejauh mana melayu kita...

why me..!!

aduhhhhhhhhhhhhh kenapa awak..

awak malas la dengan benda-benda rasmi mcm ni.
nak coffee session segala... awak malas nak pergi boleh tak ??
awak malassssssssssssssssssss!! otak awak sekarang bukan di tempat kerja.

kalau awak merapu meraban macam mana...awak nak cakap apa nanti..

awak malas la!

pink jurnal!!

semalam awak keluar dengan a besties of mine..

awak dah lama tak jumpa dia.. we share stories kat tony romma semalam..
satu soalan dia tanya " ki lu bebetul jatuh ek ngan awek lu skang?" .. dia cakap lagi " wa tak pernah tengok lu camnie .. wa rasa last dengan shaz dulu"

awak gelak and diam at the same time... awak pun jawab " wa pun tak tahu kenapa john" wa dah jauh dari mabuk dah ni"... then both of us start cracking.. hahaha..

awak balik from jumpa kawan awak semalam.. 'dia' macam tak ada mood. awak tanya dia kata " xde apa-apa.. awak blur!

awak merayap kat MV semalam .. cuba cari barang yang maybe boleh happy kan dia.. awak bagi kat dia.. dia senyum... lepas thu again dia muram.. awak tak tahu sampai bila..


awak tak tahu sampai bila....

1999-2009

a friend always said when i call her.. napa dengan you ni? what is wrong this time?

dear friend.. i didnt call you just because im having problem.. yea i admit i seldom call.. like i said earlier.. " its been a while i havent got the chance to follow your blog.dissapear it doesnt mean that i dont remember, didnt call doesnt mean that i dont care.10years is the prove!tc on the obstacles.your much worth than this. "

dear friend.. i do miss you a lot.. im having difiiculties but i dont want to call you as you mite think that i only remember you when im down..

today this morning awak baca blog kawan awak.. awak sedih and awak rasa dia juga sedih.
dear kawan... awak tak pernah lupa.. 10tahun and its coming to 11 years dah.. this entry is for you. Take care ok.

berak!!

good morning to the world... its not exactly a good morning i may say..

i didnt have enough sleep.. mata awak sangat mengantok and im having my menstrual. argh!! sangat tense...tapi the best part of my day today is i wake up smilling because i did have a good weekend i think so la... hurm... im not sure if it was good untuk that someone.. it was a bit awkward in the 1st place, it was hard as well to start a conversation.. and it was hard jugak memula when i jumpa 'dia'. tapi... in the end of the day i may say that i think it turn out quite well. Even its not completely well tapi awak just want to say thank you very very very much because u can still see me, jumpa me, spent time wif me even keep on nyanyi lagu apa ku kisah.. huuhuh... tapi awak nak cakap thanks to you. :)

Awak tau its not easy untuk dia jugak thats why awak sangat2 appreciate because dia masih mampu nak jumpa awak.thank you.

awak sebenarnya dah setel buat case awak, so im waiting for my boss to provide me new cases.sementara tengah dalam keadaan sengal nie awak saje la update blog awak.

awak nak berak jap!! arghh potong stim betul.

chow sin ci...

pink elephant sesat!!

Im in the office now, and im stuck with a case since tadi. So basically im taking a short break daripada awak smoke baik awak blogging.

Last night awak borak dengan 'dia' dalam sms, there is a lot of crying even dia tak nampak awak. its very hard nowdays awak nak have a decent cenversation dengan dia. awak tahu dia hurt badly. awak tak tahu mcm mana awak nak cakap dengan dia yang awak sayangkan dia and awak menyesal.

Awak duduk kat dalam bilik and ive been doing some deep thinking tapi sampai sudah awak tak dapat answer yang awak cari.I dont know why i feel so lost.. sangat-sangat lost sampai i dont know where i am and where am i heading to.

I use to be so lively and full of fun and spirit. Sekarang awak rasa macam mayat hidup pun ada. pegi keje, balik keje. Life macam no MOTIF!! I dont like how i am now but awak sendiri tak dapat nak buat apa-apa. Awak dah pernah jatuh sekali dalam hidup, and again awak jatuh! I fall really bad this time. Really-really bad. Maybe awak tak leh nak describe apa yang awak rasa by writing but awak pun tak tahu nak share dengan sapa by words.

Awak lost... really lost..

empty

i dont know where to start...

i dont know where im heading to...

i dont know where to stop...

i dont know what to do...

im lost .. but i know the direction..

im sleeping but im awake..

im hungry but i have ate..

i dont know what to do.

im dead but im alive..

im sick but im ok..

im empty but im thinking..

i dont know what to do..

i miss you but you are hurt..

i want you but you refuse

i love you but we are distance..

you are near and yet so far..

dont loose me and please hold my hand cause im falling apart now.

overload!!

good morning.. i guess its nearly afternoon already.

awak dah lama tak update blog awak.. a lot has been happening since, but awak malas nak share sangat dengan sapa2 yg baca blg awak ini.

hurmmm.... where should i start yea? ok basically today is my anny wif 'dia'. awak dah lama tak jumpa dengan dia. banyak benda dah jadi between awak n 'dia' sekarang ini... tapi where ever you are awak sentiasa doakan supaya dia sentiasa dilindungi Allah s.w.t and sihat hendaknya, and to you i really miss you, very very very much.

awak sebenarnya banyak benda awak nak cerita tapi awak terlampau overload sekarang. basically awak sekarang sangat-sangat la lemah and sangat malas nak pergi kerja, nak bangun pagi, nak hidup. mcm dah malas dow, tapi awak bangun jugak sebab sapa pulak nak bayar duit kereta awak nanti hahaha...

awak sambung update nanti lah, tetiba awak tidak ada mood untuk write anything.

different

now its different..

everything seems to be uncertain.

you changed because of me

i have changed because of situation..

now its different..

i miss the old times.

times seems not at my side anymore..

now its different..

i miss the black book..

i miss the moments in the car

i miss having coffee like before.

now its different..

you are more bold..

i am more shallow

we change and we grow.

now its different..

you've made more friends..

i am loosing friends..

end of the day i'm just at home alone.

now its different..

i've made mistake..you've been hurt.

you've hurt..i'm loosing

the differences is a depth now.

im sad.... because of this differences :(

insomnia!!

its has been few days im having a terrible fever.. really weak and exhausted.

awak seniri dah lama tak update blog ... well there is a lot that had happen in this month... especially for the past few days. i don't know exactly how to express it in my blog..

basically what i feel like sharing today is about relationship..

relationship needs trust rite.. so when you have betrayed the trust of your loved once its really hard to gain it back. awak pernah terbaca there is a quote saying that is easy to gain someones trust but its really hard to keep it. i have failed to keep the trust to my love ones.

i dont blame 'dia' kalau this time dia dah make dia nye decision. awak nak tanak have to be ready for it. there is also quote saying that .. 'what goes around comes around'... indeed its karma.. apa yang kita buat kat orang sekarang tuhan bayar cash..

in relation ship basically , you cant predict what will happen.. its important to share and always discuss problems even small things that you may not know will effect the heart of your love ones.

in my previous post i have once talk about abnormal-ians kan.. so basically awak in this type of relationship. at times you intend to control situation but at times it will just slip out of control.

being a abnormal-ians isnt that easy as people may think it is.. your partner expect more.. why?1st because you are their type and your are suppose to understand each other better.. awak sangat stress and im really out of solution how could i make things better...

awak just leh cakap that the truth hurts.. sometimes lies are good cause you're intention is not to lie but your intention is not to hurt your loved once.. so when they intend to find out the truth it may hurt. a piece of advice for anyone that is reading this.. appreciate what you have cause once you loose it you couldn't turn back time.you will never know when its gone...

nite people.. peace and love ya all

wonder bra!!!

i wonder about a girl..

wonder what is she doing..

wonder what is she wearing..

wonder if she is ok...even for only one day..

i wonder if she has eaten for the day..

i wonder if she combs her hair..

wonder what is she doing...

if she has a thought of despair.

i wonder about this girl..

wonder if she has a partner..

wonder who sends her home..

making her day brigther..

i wonder about this girl..

if she is thinking about me..

wonder how can i be with her..

to make her like me..

i wonder about this girl..

wonder if she notice me..

wonder if she is having the same thought..

so i can stop this wondering in me..